kamakura

Met up with my friends from elementary school over the weekend. Shiho moved from Japan to the US in second grade (we met and became friends in 4th grade), and then moved back to Japan in 10th grade, and Alex grew up a few houses down from me and was just briefly visiting Tokyo with his family. We started the day off in Tsukiji market, I think the only tourist destination/activity I’ve been really wanting to do but haven’t done in any of my previous visits. We chowed down on fatty tuna, uni, and baked goods. Yes, Tsukiji is more expensive than the average place you’ll find in Tokyo, but I don’t actually think it’s a major tourist trap. You get what you pay for - I paid ¥1000 for a skewer (about 4-6 pieces) of tuna sashimi, and it was way higher quality than sushi I’ve eaten at say, conveyor belt places for about ¥100-¥200 a piece. Miles is all about the deals, so when he found a vendor selling a whole box of sashimi for only ¥1000, he jumped on the opportunity, only to find that the box was a bit frozen and the pieces were definitely the odds and ends of the fish, quite tough and chewy. Turns out, there is a practical limit to being cheap.

The uni was pretty great (sorry, wish I had taken more pictures), and I got one that was served inside a sea urchin shell. I actually thought it went really well with the leaner cuts of tuna that Miles got, since the uni was so creamy and fatty, I think it’s best enjoyed paired with other foods (it’s kind of like eating tiny pieces of very soft fishy butter). I decided not to go for any of the wagyu skewers this time, I just really love sashimi and it’s a much better deal for me, but it did look pretty good. I still have yet to figure out the secret of finding “good” wagyu - whatever the answer is, I’m sure me being stingy and turning my nose at any cut of meat over $20 is not the way to go.

After Tsukiji, we went to Kamakura, which has also been on my travel bucket list. It’s about an hour away by normal train (JR) from Shinjuku, and it is on the Eastern coast of Japan. We didn’t hit off all the Kamakura bucket list items today, but I had a really great time. I guess when people visit Tokyo they usually hit up the big metro areas and don’t go outside of Tokyo much, but if big city activities are not your vibe (or you’re kind of sick of it), I would highly recommend going to Kamakura. It felt a bit like a mini-Kyoto - very tourist-friendly but not in a tacky way. Beautiful historic shrines and temples, and streets filled with stalls with perhaps slightly over-priced, but actually good food.

We saw the big buddha in Kotoku-in, then visited Hasedera temple. I’m not super into big (often religious) statues, so Kotoku was cool but kind of okay, but I am a big sucker for beautiful nature and architecture, and Hasedera delivered. There was even a cavern inside that was pretty neat to explore, though it was quite tiny, so be prepared to do a lot of crouching.

There was some construction around the temple itself, Shiho said it was in preparation for an upcoming festival

Hope your back is okay after walking through the tiny caverns!

We then walked through Komachi Street right outside Kamakura station which was full of lots of cute shops and delicious street food.

カレーパン (kare-pan, i.e. curry bread) from Giraffa looked so good, Shiho demo-ing a cheese pull

We ended our Kamakura trip at Tsurugaoka Hachimangu, a Shinto shrine at the end of Komachi Street, and then went back to Tokyo.

We went to an izakaya and Shiho invited her friend (who she met through work) to join us. For some personal context, while it’s been really awesome meeting expats who I can share relatable experiences and interests with, and hanging out with classmates who I can spend lots of time with since we’re on similar schedules, I’ve been really looking forward to befriending Japanese people. I think I’d be missing out on a huge part of living in a different country if I just stayed within my comfort zone, and honestly out of respect for the country and society for letting me come in, I really feel like I should try my hardest to integrate as much as possible, hence being really excited to learn Japanese and not just use school as a means for living in Japan, reaping all the benefits without having to experience or even understand the facets of real everyday life here.

I’ve actually been feeling a little sad about this specific prospect lately, because every time that I’ve explained my wishes/goals to the expats I’ve been meeting (which I feel incredibly lucky to even have a social network in a completely foreign country already), they’ve all replied with, “ah, we all had those goals coming in, but it is really difficult to befriend Japanese people. Language barrier, social barrier…” it almost seemed like a scripted response at this point. Joining a special-interest club seems like the way to go, but since I don’t have any existing intense interests, the idea of trying to force myself to get into a hobby that other Japanese people are also into, and communicate about that special interest in Japanese seems like a bit of a far-fetched plan. Anyways, I had been kind of preoccupied about it until I mentioned it to Shiho, and while she agreed that most Japanese people are really shy, she told me some of her friends are actually really interested in meeting new people and practicing their English!

Shiho’s friend Yukie joined us for dinner, and together they answered a bunch of our questions about Japanese language and culture which have honestly been stewing inside us for a while. I wonder at what point will the constant feeling of “oh god I’m definitely doing/saying something wrong” fade away. Before dinner, Shiho and Alex had been referencing a previous visit where they went out to drink a lot (with Yukie too actually) and had a great time, and I was honestly feeling a little apprehensive because I thought my big drinking and partying days were behind me. I knew that after dinner they were going to propose going out to a proper bar, and I was so tempted to decline and go home, but seeing that the other 3 were enthusiastic about it, I reluctantly agreed (the reluctance was internal, I didn’t want to be a big party pooper of course).

Shiho kept talking about how it was so much fun to people-watch at bars, especially when salarymen wearing suits try so hard to hit on girls, in an effort to get us hyped about going out. We went to Hub, a British pub-themed bar. It was packed with super drunk Japanese people. Well, now that I’m in it, the only way out is to drink. Soon enough, I found myself speaking Japanese comfortably to people at the bar, and my limited vocabulary from 1 month of studying was really coming in handy. “how old are you?” “27! I’m American!” “no way, really??” oh, and one more thing I had learned online before coming to Japan is when you cheers, clinking glasses lower than other people is a sign of respect. This ends up in games where people keep trying to lower their glasses. Luckily I suddenly remembered this fact when we were cheers-ing, and I found myself exactly in one of those drink lowering games with a stranger. He said he was 26 (younger than me), so I let him win. Then I turned around and saw what I thought was a couple, but Shiho told me she believed they were strangers who just met (and then later went home together), but the girl kept bonking the top of the guy’s glass with the bottom of her’s (implying maximum disrespect). I was thinking, “is that legal or did I misinterpret the cultural rules here?” and as if the guy read my mind, he looked to me and said, “she’s so mean!!”

Eventually one of the girls (also a complete stranger) told me she wanted to be friends with me!! Obviously everyone was drunk out of their minds so I have no idea if she even remembers me, but I was so elated to hear that. She said she wanted someone to practice English with. I felt like I really unlocked a new Japanese experience and life this evening, and I’m so grateful for Shiho for bringing me into her life, even if I did wish that there was slightly less alcohol involved. Maybe the best way to befriend shy Japanese people is to remove everyone’s social inhibitions. I can be a little shy too, so I get it.

I don’t know any of these people (except Shiho) but I’ll surely remember the night 😂