shinkansen pt 2
Welp, I missed this post’s deadline. I actually did finish this post yesterday, but there was so much I wanted to talk about that I ran out of time, so I’ll post what I finished so far. This section of the story should’ve really gone into yesterday’s post about the Shinkansen, but it literally happened the second after I finished writing and uploading the post. So, when I booked my tickets to the Shinkansen, it was pretty full, and I ended up choosing an aisle seat in a 3-seater row with the window and middle booked up. Two ladies, one around my mother’s age, and the other likely her mother, came and sat next to me a few stops after I got on, and they seemed friendly but very Japanese. I was writing my blog post about the Shinkansen while I was sitting on the Shinkansen (so, I almost always write posts in the morning, and I aim to get it in by midnight PST. Not sure why, it’s just what has been working for me, even from the beginning), and after about 45 minutes or so, the two ladies decided to switch seats, so the older one was sitting by the window now. I suddenly felt super self-conscious, like maybe my typing was annoying or maybe I smelled weird, so she insisted on sitting far away.*
After a bit more time had passed, the lady who was now sitting next to me tapped me on the shoulder. She pulled out a pack of candy and offered me one. I was so surprised, and happily accepted. She started talking to me, asking me where I was from, and I was doing my best to converse in Japanese. After a bit of back-and-forth, I realized her English was way better than my Japanese, so we switched to English. Turns out, she had lived in Anaheim for a bit and used to work at Disney. She said she loves America and really misses it, and was so excited to talk to me. I then realized that the seat swap wasn’t because the grandma didn’t like me, but because the mom wanted to chat with me. I was really incredibly happy, because it meant a lot that a Japanese person was going out of their way to talk to me, was bold enough to offer me candy and initiate conversation and such. As we were chatting, she said multiple times that I made her day (which I couldn’t believe, I mean she was the one who was so kind to me), even when she first saw me.
She told me that in Japan, there are sayings like, once it’s October you have to wear long-sleeves. Even the weather channels will say, tomorrow there will be x kind of weather, so you should wear y. But she gets hot very easily, so she wants to just wear a t-shirt sometimes, but feels self-conscious about it. So she was happy when she saw me because I was wearing a t-shirt. I asked her, so you knew I was a foreigner when you saw me in a t-shirt? And she nodded. It’s funny because sometimes I actually do pass off as Japanese - people get really shocked after a few sentences back-and-forth and then I stop responding because I didn’t understand their question, so I don’t think I inherently look foreign. But this was one of the few times I actually got feedback on what identified me as a foreigner, and it was for a reason that wasn’t even on my radar. Anyways, we talked about a bunch of things, including things she loved about Americans (she called them lovable idiots), and we exchanged contact info. I think she was more American than me, being so outgoing and friendly. Having deliberately chosen to live in Japan, I guess it makes sense that I’m probably more culturally Japanese than the average American, so it’s always fun to experience the blend between “Japanese-like” Americans (me) with “American-like” Japanese people.
- It’s true, I have noticed I’m constantly on edge in Japan, and I totally understand that having those thoughts looming over you all the time that could bother a lot of people - it’s a complaint I’ve heard from a decent number of people who don’t quite “get” living in Japan. To be honest, I’m a pretty anxious person in general so I don’t exactly mind. Like in the US I would have random anxieties a lot too, but somehow the Japanese version feels a bit more freeing because I know I will never fit in 100% (more on this later), whereas in the US I put an expectation on myself to fit in with my peers and friends in a very different way than what it takes to not be an awful foreigner in Japanese society, but still isn’t necessarily natural enough to me to not have to think about it a lot. And I also completely acknowledge that if I was a Japanese person, what would be required of me to fit in with my Japanese peers would be so much more severe and heavy-handed than the US version, so I’m not saying being Japanese is better. Perhaps my point is, I’ve come to really appreciate the foreigner privilege I get here, even socially.